April 2007
News from Joan (right)How’s Your Listening?(below)Quotes for the MonthJob Seeking Tips: 26 Tips For A Successful Job InterviewQuick Links
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Thanks to everyone who has sent referrals to me. I
take your confidence in me seriously. I promise to serve your friends
and associates with caring and the intention to help them reach
their professional, business and personal goals. Referrals are the
lifeblood of my business so thank you for your support. Come see Tiger Woods has a coach. What Clients are saying about Joan “Dear Joan, At the start of the interview, the President of the company told me they had received many resumes in response to their advertisement, but there was only one resume that really stood out and that was mine! Needless to say, I was thrilled and thought to myself
that the money and time I was spending with Joan was indeed an investment
in myself that was paying off. A spam-free newsletter written and published by Joan
Bolmer, Executive, Business, Career and Personal Coach. For more
helpful ideas, visit http://www.bolmer.com Schedule a FREE no obligation consultation TODAY! Call 281 293-8864 or email me. Click here to learn more about Joan’s services! |
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Throughout human history, short of torture or death, the worst punishment a person could be given was to be isolated, ignored, unheard, shunned or cast out from the tribe or community. Therfore, one of the greatest gifts we can give another person is to acknowledge and truly listen to them without judgment, while doing our best to understand the situation from their point of view. This does not require or even imply that we agree with them. It simply respects the person’s need to be heard and appreciated even if we hold a different viewpoint. You may be thinking that it is easier said than done. Oh, so true! Our natural tendency is to start formulating our rebuttal or opinion shortly after the person has started talking. The solution is to notice when you are doing this, stop yourself, then commit to fully hear the person out. The speaker will not know that you have really gotten their point
unless you give them feedback. Feedback is not your opinion on the
matter! Feedback that works is a reiteration of your understanding
of their position until they agree, perhaps by nodding, that you
do in fact correctly understand them. When the person feels understood,
he or she will usually stop arguing their point and be willing to
listen to what you have to say. When people cannot get their need to be heard fulfilled through overt means, they will try to get their needs met in covert, less socially-acceptable ways, such as gossiping, being loud mouths in meetings or becoming dissenting nit pickers who pooh-pooh every idea put forth. In the “olden days,” a kid could get his family’s attention by not showing up to milk the cows. Today, kids who are doing drugs, getting drunk, chatting on the internet with questionable people, taking weapons to school or shooting classmates were perhaps not heard or understood earlier in their young lives. Spouses who do not feel heard or understood may have affairs or sabotage their partner’s objectives. Employees in similar situations transfer, under-perform, quit or litigate. In every case, listening is cheaper and less painful for all concerned. We all want to feel heard and appreciated. By practicing good listening
skills, we model how we want to be treated and can ask for the same
courtesy in return. |
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“Listen. Do not have an opinion while
you listen because frankly, your opinion doesn’t hold much
water outside of Your Universe. Just listen. Listen until their
brain has been twisted like a dripping towel and what they have
to say is all over the floor.” “Time is a created thing. To say “I
don’t have time” is to say “I don’t want
to.” “To listen closely and reply well is
the highest perfection we are able to attain in the art of conversation.”
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Job Seeking Tips:
26 Tips For A Successful Job Interview
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Winning with Difficult Clients Behavior Questions for Hiring Good Employees How to Get a Great Performance Review Phaedra Cook,
The Thinking Designer |
Happy Spring!
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Insights ©2007, by Joan Bolmer, all rights reserved. Permission is granted to reproduce, copy or distribute this newsletter so long as this copyright notice and full information about contacting the author is attached. |
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Job
interviews in many organizations are getting more and more sophisticated
these days. Single interviewers, interview panels, multiple interviews,
the demonstration of a skill/ability, a hostile interview, case
studies, psychological tests, role plays, and challenges to one’s
quick intelligence and street smarts are often part of the package.
While it´s impossible to anticipate everything you may encounter,
these tips will help you successfully negotiate the interview process.