Get Your Personal Needs Met

“Until your personal needs are met, it is difficult to live powerfully and sustainably.”- -Thomas Leonard

Needs, by definition are not optional. They will be met, overtly or covertly. By personal needs I am implying more than basic physical needs. I am referring to those uniquely personal mental and emotional needs that, without which we feel some how less that enough.

When needs are met in a healthy way overtly, they take the form of clear requests, statements of wants and requirements or actions designed specifically to meet the need without pretense or guile.

When people try to meet their needs covertly it shows up in many forms. Gossip, one-ups-man-ship, ego centered bragging, and put downs are often a symptom of the need for recognition and appreciation.

Perfectionism is a symptom of not believing one’s self to be enough, no matter how hard one tries. A perfectionist needs lots of reinforcement on being enough even when not “perfect”.

Whiners, blamers and complainers often believe the only way to get their need to be accepted and loved is to be a victim. The list of dysfunctional behaviors representing unmet needs goes on and on.

When a persons needs are acknowledged and fulfilled without manipulation or game playing we find ourselves attracted to them. They display a calm self-confidence, generosity and acceptance of others just as they are. This is, of course, because at the core they have accepted themselves as enough, just as they are.

I encourage you to print out a copy of "The Needless Program".
Identify your top 4 current needs. Ask 4 special people in your life to each meet one of the needs on your list. Train and coach them in the specific way that you would like this need to be fulfilled.

This may seem awkward and presumptuous at first but it is just practice in learning how to ask for what you want and need without manipulation. The people who love and care about you will not think it weird and will generally, be willing to do what you ask. As you get comfortable with this process you will find it easier and easier to ask others in your world for what you want.

One of my clients got so turned on by how well this program worked that he hosted a group of his friends to do the program together. By doing it together they could feel free to ask each other to fulfill one an other’s needs.

Consider how extending your boundaries can help to satisfy two or more of your needs. I use to have people in my life that took advantage of my willingness to give, without giving anything back. Once I became aware of the resentment that I was experiencing as a result, I set boundaries, which no longer left room for people to taken advantage of me. In fact, I don’t even attract such people into my life any more.

What shows up in our personal world is truly a reflection of how far we have come and the areas that we still need to work on. When we fully get our needs met we will no longer attract needy people into our life. What a relief!

On the last page of The Needless Program is a 25-step checklist, which is extremely powerful in helping you to get your needs met once and for all. Do It! Your will be very pleased with the results it will create in your life.

To print The Personal Foundation mini poster, by Thomas Leonard,
Current version of Acrobat Reader is required; available free at adobe.com

For a Free no obligation coaching session on Your Personal Foundation please give me a call at (281) 293-8864