Building Employee Confidence
and Self-Esteem

Dear Joan,

I have recently been hired to take over the customer service department for a large auto parts company. I have a wonderful staff, however, there is one person who makes me a little crazy.

She is a competent, knowledgeable person who has been with the company a long time. Although she handles customer problems very well, she is in my office 10 times a day telling me the story of the latest customer problem and asking me what to do. She really knows what to do but seems to need constant confirmation. It is time consuming and distracting to have her constantly coming in my office. What can I do to keep her from interrupting me all the time?
C.C. Martin

Dear C.C.,

We all have two unconscious tape recordings, one positive and one negative, going on in our heads continuously like background noise. From time to time, you may have noticed that negative internal tape turn up the volume when you have gotten a complement. It says something like, 'Yes, BUT you didn't do this or that well enough so don't get a big head'.

If we have a healthy balance between our negative and positive tapes we are able to see situations in a relatively realistic way. However, some people have a negative tape that is so loud and strong that no matter how many things they do 'right', the voice tells them that it is still not enough. Whenever you give that person acknowledgment or a complement they either mentally or verbally discount it. I call this 'having a hole in your bucket'. No matter how much acknowledgment you give the person, their bucket never gets full.

I suspect that your employee has a hole in her bucket and she is the only one who can plug the hole. So you have to find ways to get her to stop discounting her accomplishments. A strategy that I have used very successfully is to have the employee to gather undeniable proof of their accomplishments and competence and then report it to me in several ways.

I suggest setting up a weekly one-on-one, 20 minute meeting with your employee. Ask her to write a report of her accomplishments and the problems she has solved during the past week. Tell her that you do not want to know all the details of the customers complaint, your just want to know how she solved the problem.

When she arrives for the meeting have her stand up and verbally report her successes. Allow absolutely no phone calls or other interruptions during your meeting. Give her your full and undivided attention.

Make appropriate positive comments during her presentation and when she is finished make sure she sees you physically put her written report into her personnel file. If for some reason your designated time for the meeting must be moved make sure you reschedule her reporting session for an other time during the same week and don't miss it no matter what!.

The chances are very good that within a few weeks her need for meaningful attention and confirmation will be so well satisfied that your meeting time will be all she requires and she will interrupt you less and less. By the way, this a wonderful way to build and enhance self esteem with children and employees that are not a problem.